Relationships are always a tough subject to tackle because everyone has a different view depending on the experience they had. Whether you are single, actively dating or just married, relationships are somewhat difficult.
Well Spotlight Over The City, a popular internet radio show in the Washington DC area and hosted by the husband and wife duo Stan and Terri Long, tackled this controversial subject during their latest live broadcast which was held at the luxurious “Nelson Manor” in Ft. Washington, Maryland owned and operated by Tarus and Yolanda Nelson.
In the beginning, the relationship is all fun and giggles. Getting to know someone is the first of many honeymoon phases during a relationship. You spend countless hours on the phone, texting and possibly emailing them to get to know them. Just the mere sound of their voice gets you excited.
The topic of discussion was all about relationships and boy did we talk about all of it but while we waited for the broadcast to begin we networked with each other, enjoyed this beautiful home, laughed and conversated over a spread of good eats laid out for us from the huge crabcakes from Dyson’s Crabcakes, personalized cupcakes from Sweet Elevations and an assortment of champagnes, wine and beer.
Shortly thereafter the main event for the evening was beginning and the nights special guest panelists began taking their seats, there was that famous couple that made us all believe in romance again Alfred and Sherrell Duncan @foreverduncans, Tarus and Yolanda Nelson @thenelsonmanor, Brand Expert Tara Gates Anderson @taragatesanderson, Author of the relationship book “Dear Future Wife” Mr. Paul Bashea Williams,LCSW-C @basheawilliams and of course our hosts for the evening Stan and Terri Long @spotlightoverthecity. Each person had perspectives from their viewpoint from the single lifestyle, divorcees, and marriage.
As we eased into the evenings conversation the very first question up for debate was, Is marriage still relevant? Much too my surprise the answer across the audience was Yes. Well it seems we off to a great start and from there we discussed a plethora of topics from threesomes in your marriage, to do or not to do? We discussed 
finances,divorce,what’s the average amount of sex a marital couple should be having(which was pretty interesting)and the importance of supporting your partner. We even discussed handling the blended family and while there can be many difficulties to dating someone with children or dating as a single parent, there are many beautiful things about it as well. Children are a joy. Their innocence and happiness can bring extra joy into your life. Bonus: People who have children always have the best snacks in their house. On a more serious note, when dating as a single parent or when dating a single parent, communication, as usual, is key. Be open and honest about your expectations and rolls in each other’s lives. If integrating into a family, all parties need to be given time to connect organically. Don’t force anything. Like any relationship, this takes time to build and nourish. Stan and Terri Long were very candid and transparent when sharing their stories of blending their families. They were consistent while one gave the other the opportunity to work behind the scenes to iron out difficulties for the betterment of their family.
We want to believe that marriage encompasses forever, but the truth is that people change, your needs evolve, and your priorities get rearranged. As a wife, you cannot be complacent, thinking you know everything about your spouse. Take the time to find out what’s going on in his world. There was one moment where the discussion got very serious and it was the topic of the dreaded extra-marital affair that had produced a child that one of the panelist shared with us from their own accounts and the question for the audience was would you stay? Well you can almost guess what the answer was from the audience.
So many jewels and gems were given and I think for the most part communication and staying in tuned to your spouse or significant other is key. Ask about their day. If anything out of the ordinary happens, you should be the first to know. Listening to him or her account for their day will also give you a peek into any new interests or curiosities each other may have. Use each others answers to plan your next date night. Ask about their new dreams and goals. “I just want to…” They may voluntarily make statements like this, or you may have to pry it out of them. Either way, listen! When they say something like this, they are telling you that they want something different. You could dive into this new thing together.
Plan a trip together, planning trips are fun! Don’t say you can’t afford it. Start researching costs and setting aside money to hip you and Hubs to a new place with a different culture. Discovering new things together keeps things fresh.
Ask what your spouse needs from you. This is one of the important points stressed during the broadcast, communication. This may be difficult to hear, but you need to continue learning your mate. It’s challenging to keep things fresh in marriage, but it’s certainly not impossible.
Remember, if he or she is happy and taken care of, they’ll return the feeling.
Tell us a creative way you are teaching/learning your mate!
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